Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
