Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
