Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
