Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
