The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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