Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
