How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
