Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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