I smell stomach acid.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
