Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
