I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize