he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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