Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
