You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
