Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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