my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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