i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
