i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
