how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
