Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
