You're so nebulous sometimes
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
