Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize