Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
pray to the hookup gods
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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