I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
