I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
