Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
