Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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