I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i've created a new STD.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
