What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
