Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
