I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
