you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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