So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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