i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
