Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
