see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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