I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
