One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
