Where is the hickey?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
