I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
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