I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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