i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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