yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
