This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
