Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
