I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize