so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We are all done wearing pants today
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
