Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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