On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
