should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
