I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
