Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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