That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
