oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
