Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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