haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
