I'm jealous of your bromance
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
