do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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