glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
