bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
