So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
