It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
