I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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