I feel like abortions should bother me more
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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