I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
