Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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