if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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