So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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