Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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