perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
