what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I lost the right to judge tonight
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
