Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
