i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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